Leisure and Free Time
Shame, Self Esteem and Pride
Mission 6
The visit to shame and guilt has been tough, but we hope it has given you tools to understand yourself better, expand your emotional map, and update your protective screen. Once again, you board the plane to visit the neighboring area of Pride.
“I began to understand that the promises of the world are, for the most part, vain fantasies, and that the best and surest thing is to have faith in oneself and become something valuable.”
Michelangelo Buonarrotti
When you arrive in the land of pride, words such as “arrogance,” “haughtiness,” or “conceit” will probably come to mind, along with an image of a peacock.
As you walk through this territory, you will find that its inhabitants are human beings! “What are you talking about? Of course they are human beings, but I also see dogs, cats, and all kinds of animals.”
You put up your protective shield (“I’m sure they’re dangerous people”), your emotional scanner (you sense danger and feel fear), and your socio-emotional scanner (“let’s see what feelings of superiority these people have”).
While walking, you encounter a dog. You can see that sometimes it is afraid, feels sad, and if it feels threatened, it reacts with anger.
It greets its owners with joy and feels great love for them. But have you ever seen an animal that feels pride?
Pride is an emotion exclusive to human beings.
It allows us to transform, invent, grow until we become ourselves with all our authenticity.
It is the basis of creativity.
You stop to talk to the inhabitants of the land of pride.
They tell you about their fathers and mothers, children, siblings, and themselves. They are so proud of who they are!
They have artists who don’t need to understand mathematics.
They have entrepreneurs who aren’t interested in philosophy.
They have the best athletes, whom they admire for their skill and discipline…
They all share a common feeling:
ADMIRATION
That sublime feeling of fascination at personal achievement, a creation of one’s own or another’s, an economic, social, or relational accomplishment.
Even enthusiasm for the achievements of human beings throughout history.
You leave the dog and come across a swamp. There is a sign there that says:
IT IS NOT PRIDE IF…
… There is a desire for power or control over other people….
I think I am superior to others for any reason (race, gender, health, money, etc.)….
I allow myself to feel envy towards the achievements of others….
I am always right.
We strive for status
TRUE STATUS COMES FROM WITHIN
We suggest the following questions:
In your relationship with yourself…are you proud of your role as a parent, sibling, friend, partner?
Throughout your life, do you feel that you have grown as a person?
Do you analyze your emotions to get to know yourself better and put your talents at the service of those around you?
If you feel comfortable, write the answers in your notebook.
FEELING PROUD ALSO MEANS FEELING RECOGNIZED
Seeking recognition from our peers is not a bad thing; quite the contrary: we have a need to belong that needs to be visible to others.
Shame leads to invisibility.
Pride helps you recognize yourself and be recognized by others.
FOR THAT, YOU NEED TO COME OUT OF YOUR CAVE AND LET YOURSELF BE SEEN.
EVEN IF YOU FEEL VULNERABLE.
(IS THAT GOOD OR BAD?)
An excellent activity for working on shame and pride is improvisational theater. This practice forces you to step outside your comfort zone, be present in the moment, and interact spontaneously with other people, which can challenge insecurities and fear of judgment.
In improvisation classes, the focus is not on doing it “perfectly,” but on being authentic and adapting to situations creatively.
In these types of activities, you may experience situations where you feel vulnerable (such as performing an unscripted scene or acting out something strange or funny), which will allow you to gradually confront your fears related to shame.
At the same time, it is an environment where laughter and acceptance are key, helping you to put those awkward moments into perspective.
In addition, improvisational theater promotes a “no judgment” mindset, as the goal is to enjoy the process, make mistakes, and learn from them, which can have a positive impact on your self-confidence.
TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS AND SUGGEST THAT THEY ATTEND AN IMPROVISATIONAL THEATER ACTIVITY.
IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE EXPOSING YOURSELF TOO MUCH, YOU CAN DO IT IN A PRIVATE GROUP BY ASSIGNING CHARACTERS TO THE PARTICIPANTS. THE THEMES OF SHAME AND PRIDE MUST APPEAR IN THE PERFORMANCE.
AT THE END, SHARE WITH THE REST OF THE GROUP HOW YOU FELT AND WHETHER YOU FOUND IT USEFUL FOR WORKING WITH THESE EMOTIONS.