I have failed my exams! I haven’t finished my studies!

I’ve been fired from my job!

HOW DO I MANAGE THIS?

These types of situations are very painful and it is normal to feel sad.

The main problem is falling into victimhood.

It is important to distinguish between victim and victimist.

A victim is the person who has suffered harm or injustice. He often experiences pain and his situation is validated by those around him.

A victimist is a person who adopts a victim posture on a regular basis, even when he or she has not suffered any harm. It becomes something insufferable for those around him.

On this trip you can use your social-emotional scanner to study how a victimist behaves.

• It is completely self-centered.
• He never asks about others. There is no conversation.  It is a monologue about his life and his problems.
• She sees the world as a hostile place, where everything is against her.
• She seeks attention or compassion from those around her.
• They don’t take responsibility for their life and tend to blame their problems on external factors or people.
• He has discovered that by complaining he will find “saviors” willing to give him their attention.

In student and work situations, victimhood is useless.

It is essential that you take charge: you grieve (with help, if necessary) and begin to look for a way out of your situation (with help if necessary).

Here are some clues

IN THE FACE OF FAILURE IN STUDIES

• Accept your sadness. It’s normal to feel frustrated. Feel the sadness, but don’t let it define you.  When you get sad you can say to yourself “a feeling of sadness is appearing”, in this way, you depersonalize it.
• Analyze the situation reasonably: what went wrong? Was he well prepared or badly? Did I have enough time? Identifying the causes can help you avoid these mistakes later.
• Make your plan: Once you understand what happened, create a plan of action. This may include improving your study habits, seeking additional help, or shifting your focus to learning.
• Above all, set realistic goals. Setting unattainable goals only leads to failure. It’s also important to celebrate your successes
• Seek support: from friends, family, teachers. Talk to them about your struggles.  If you need professional help, do not hesitate to go to therapy.
• Positive attitude: failure is part of the learning process. Find the motivation here.
• Take care of yourself: Eat well, exercise, get enough sleep. This will always help you improve your academic performance.

IN THE EVENT OF A DISMISSAL OR SERIOUS LABOR PROBLEM

• Allow yourself to feel: It’s important to acknowledge and accept your emotions. Don’t put pressure on yourself to feel better right away; It’s okay to be sad.
• Talk about it: Sharing your feelings with friends, family, or even a professional can be very liberating. Sometimes, just expressing what you’re feeling can help you process it.
• Establish a routine: Maintaining a daily routine can give you a sense of normalcy and structure. Try to include activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good.
• Take care of yourself: Make sure you’re eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest. Taking care of your physical health can have a positive impact on your emotional well-being.
• Reflect on your accomplishments: Take a moment to remember your accomplishments and abilities. This can help you regain your self-confidence and see that there are opportunities ahead.
• Explore new opportunities: Although it can be difficult, consider this loss as an opportunity to explore new directions in your career. Research courses, workshops, or new areas that interest you.
• Be patient with yourself: Recovery takes time. Allow yourself to move at your own pace and don’t compare yourself to others.

Use your social-emotional scanner and analyze to be able to recognize them more easily in the future: note down how a victimist person behaves, describe and explain their behavior.