When I leave the university of self-esteem, I arrive at a fenced territory.  Its inhabitants explain to me that they are an area twinned with shame. Its inhabitants are to blame.

<< Is guilt the same as shame?>> – You ask them

<<No>> they reply, <<When we feel bad about something we’ve done, it’s sometimes hard to distinguish guilt from shame.  Come with us, we will explain some differences>>.

Shame is an emotion you feel from the disapproval of others.  The presence of “others” must exist, whether real or imagined.

Guilt is an emotion that arises from one’s own disapproval and does not require outside observers.

Guilt appears when transgressing certain norms, rules or beliefs. It has a moral component.

Shame appears when certain “minimums” or certain goals are not reached.  It does not have a moral component.

Shame derives from the perception of a failure related to my uncontrollable “self” (lack of ability, ugliness of my body,…)

Guilt carries with it the awareness of having made a personal mistake that I could have controlled (not trying hard enough, not taking care of myself,…)

In the face of something that has happened, shame produces a desire to flee, to hide, to make oneself invisible.

Guilt tends to make you feel like you need to do something to repair what has happened.

We could say that shame puts the focus on one’s own person (on me mism@), while guilt focuses on a particular behavior

Perhaps you have encountered similar situations, especially when you have had to “expose” your Tourette’s Syndrome to other people.

You may feel avergonzad@ of something you can’t control, but not guilty.  In the case of people with Tourette Syndrome, exposure to others is very hard, since it is true that THEY DO LOOK AT YOU.

And you may feel guilty for some reactions to other people – especially your family – and this feeling may be accompanied by shame for not having been able to control yourself (for example, a fit of anger)

It’s also important to realize how we treat and how shame and guilt from the people around us affects us.

As for shame, it may be interesting to see how you behave towards someone who is suffering from it.

If we talk about guilt, it is important to know that another person may be to blame for a situation that affects you, but you are responsible for how to manage the situation. You may be able to observe whether or not you feel like a victim of what is happening.

If it’s comfortable for you, write your impressions in your notebook.

As far as shame is concerned, you have found in other sections some resources to deal with it.  Some are worked from the mind and others from the body.

As for guilt, it can be a very heavy emotional burden, but there are ways to alleviate that feeling. Here are some ideas:

1. Reflect on the cause of your guilt

Sometimes, guilt can be the result of an action that really wasn’t as serious as we think. Reflect on what happened. Was there malicious intent behind what you did or was it a mistake? It can help you find a way to learn from the situation without burdening it unnecessarily.

2. Talk to someone you trust

Sharing what you feel with someone who listens to you without judgment can take a lot of emotional weight off. Sometimes, verbalizing what’s happening to us helps put things into perspective and can open you up to new ways of thinking about what happened.

3. Make peace with what happened

If what happened was something you can rectify, do it. If you hurt someone, ask for forgiveness sincerely. The act of acknowledging the mistake and asking for forgiveness can be very liberating, both for you and for the other person. If you can’t make amends directly, look for ways to learn from that experience and grow from it.

4. Practice self-compassion

Be kind contig@ mism@, especially when you make mistakes. Try to talk to yourself the same way you would someone who is going through the same thing. It’s important to recognize that we’re all human and make mistakes. Excessive self-criticism only aggravates suffering.

5. Focus on what you can control

Sometimes the blame comes from situations that can no longer be changed. Instead of getting stuck in what you can’t do, focus on what you can do now to improve. This will help you feel like you have the power to change and grow.

6. Learn from experience

Reflecting on what happened and finding lessons that you can apply in the future can help you feel that the situation had a purpose, that it was an opportunity to learn and grow. This can reduce the intensity of the guilt, seeing that it was a formative experience rather than a simple mistake.

7. Seek professional help if you need it

If guilt becomes overwhelming or chronic, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist. A professional can help you explore the root of your guilt and offer you tools to manage it in a healthier way

TALK TO YOUR ASSOCIATION TO CARRY OUT THIS ACTIVITY WITH NIÑ@S WITH TOURETTE SYNDROME.

1. Card Preparation: Ask niñ@s to draw or write different situations on the cards that could make someone feel avergonzad@ or guilty. For example, “breaking a toy” (guilt) or “falling in public” (shame).

   2. Discussion: Once you have several cards, sit in a circle and choose a card at random. Read the situation out loud and ask them how they would feel in that situation. Encourage them to share their thoughts and emotions.

   3. Differentiation: After discussing each situation, ayúdal@s identify if the emotion they might feel is shame or guilt. She explains that guilt is often related to actions that affect other people, while shame is more related to how we feel about nosotr@s mism@s in social situations.

   4. Reflection: At the end, you can do a little reflection on how to handle both emotions. Ask what they could do if they feel avergonzad@s or guilty, and how they could help others who feel this way.

   Not only will this activity help them better understand these emotions, but it will also encourage empathy and communication between ell@s.

Tell us how the activity went